Nice Guys

by Kiana

I woke up dazed and confused. This isn’t my bed? Are those my pants? Why am I wearing boxers?

“Good morning 🙂 Coffee?” said some guy. He proceeded to hand me a cup of coffee regardless of whether or not I wanted it. His mug had a bunch of black cats on it—felt like they were staring me down and judging my life choices.

I don’t remember meeting a guy last night? This is typically what happens when I have one too many dirty martinis and piña coladas. Serves me right for going to Boulevard3, the most promiscuous nightclub in L.A. What can I say? It was Becky’s birthday!

“Uhh, morning….I’m sorry, I don’t think I got your name?” I said.

“Haha…I’m Andrew. Melanie, right? Did you want to grab breakfast, or can I get you a cab?” Andrew asked.

Andrew was…cute. He gelled his dirty blonde hair to the side in all the wrong places, had green eyes, an okay smile, lips…not so much, and his body…oh man, it needed some work. What the heck did I get myself into?

“I’m all right. Actually, I have to go. I just realized I’m late for a meeting…I’ll call you,” I said in a rush. I lied.

I found my pants and my pumps and ran out. I caught a cab home, but when I tried to pay, the cab driver told me that Andrew had taken care of it. Okaaay? I’ll admit I felt a little bad that I had left him hanging, but who cares? I didn’t leave him a number, so it’s a good thing he can’t get a hold of me. I cleaned up a bit and dashed off to work. I needed some ibuprofen.

“Jenny can you cancel my 12 o’clock?” I asked. Jenny was my assistant.

“Sure, oh, and someone sent these in for you,” Jenny exclaimed.

Roses, chocolates, and a note. What the heck?

“I had lots of fun last night. Can’t wait to see you again 🙂 – Andy”

Andy? Oh my God. Andrew from last night found out where I worked!? This was getting a little weird. First, the cab, now roses and chocolates? What’s next he stands outside my building reciting Shakespeare and throwing rocks at the window? This was just supposed to be a one-night stand, and a bad one at that.

I got through most of my day without thinking about Andrew. I did, however, eat the chocolates he provided. Just as I was about to head out, Jenny gave me a paper with ANOTHER note from Andrew.

“Hey, Jenny wouldn’t give me your number, but, lunch tomorrow? At Casanova’s? My treat! I’m starting to miss you. XOXO -Andy”

Okay, that’s it. Andy you have got to go. I decided to agree to lunch so I could express my discomfort. When I arrived, he was in a suit. During the day? At Casanova’s? It’s a bar and grill for crying out loud.

When he saw me his face was elated. He went in for a kiss, but I…I went in for a handshake.

“Uh, it’s so good to see you! You look beautiful, I can’t take my mind off you,” Andy said.

“Thanks. Listen, I can’t be here for long. I’ve got a meeting at 12:45 a.m.,” I said harshly.

“Andy, you’re such a nice guy, but I don’t think this is going to work out. You’re…you’re…too nice. And to be frank, you’re kind of clingy.”

“Wow. Uh. This is news to me. I thought you might be different, but you’re just like the others,” Andy said. You could tell he was frustrated.

“Look, I’m sorry. You just need to cool it. Roses, chocolates, notes? We barely know each other. It’s not going to work, I have to go.”

Andy looked heartbroken, but I didn’t care. I had to leave, and I didn’t want to see him again…too clingy and WAY too nice. I walked out of Casanova’s without eating. I had lost my appetite.

Inside, Andy thought, “Wow, I guess I really bring the ‘nice guys finish last’ clichè to life…Oh well. No more one-night stands for me.”

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