Hot Tuesday

by Kiana

“Hey, I’m gonna go pick up some lunch, you comin’?” I tell my coworker, Jane.

“Uh no, I’m gonna eat in today, can’t stand the heat. My hair will poof, and Dan might see!!” Jane was always oddly pessimistic, she also had an obsessive crush on Dan the Doorman. “I spent two hours straightening this puffball!”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  “Whatever floats your boat,” I say indifferently.

I take the elevator down our 50-story building because, let’s face it, I am not ruining these new Jeffrey Campbell pumps! I walk through the lobby, lend a smirk to Dan who is obviously hoping Jane is coming down, and just as I open the door…BAM! The heat hits me like a gang member who has just found out that I don’t “got the stuff.”

I consider going back inside my air conditioned getaway to escape the heat, but my stomach growls, and I think of the amazing pad thai down street. I instantly re-embark on my mission to fulfill my obligation to my stomach.

As I head on out, my hands start to shake. Did I drink too much coffee? Am I going to pass out? Is this an overactive thyroid problem? Before I can add in another thought about my shaky hands, the officer directing traffic suddenly starts to break into song!

“Candy Girl, you are my woOoOorld! Ya look so sweet, you’re a special treat!”

I find this rather off, considering the fact that Larry the Officer is always in a bad mood. I try to gather my thoughts when I see Otto from the fruit stand across the street throwing fruit in a group of people’s mouth. Hold on? What the heck!? What are they doing? I question. Oh my God… they’re dancing! Looks like a number from Glee or something.

Things are getting weird now. First the shaky hands, then the officer, then the dancing fruit eaters? All I wanted to do was get a good plate of pad thai! All of a sudden, my shaky hands turn into a shaky body, and I start moving in a rhythmic fashion, which is unusual because I never dance. EVER.

Before I know it, I’m dancing and singing Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” Lemme tell ya, there is nothing smooth about this groove I’ve got goin’ on, but I start feeling it, and people are doing it with me!!

Guess this lunch break just turned into a dance off. Crazy what the heat does to people, right? By the end of my lunch period I’m left sweaty and feelin’ groovy. Never would I have thought that a lunch period could be so entertaining! I walk back into the comfort of my AC building and pass by Dan.

“Hey did you hear?! The heat is all over the news! Everyone’s talking about the weirdness that it brought? Scientists are studying what’s going on at this very moment!”

“Oh…I’m not sure, I’ll check it out!” I say aimlessly, I didn’t want to tell him what had just happened because I wasn’t even sure myself.

I head back to the comfort of my office and pass by Jane, who has no interest in my atrocious appearance, and sit down. I Google “Heat Wave.” It takes 0.82 seconds for me to see the results. I’m astonished. Scientists have figured out that the heat caused everyone’s brains to overdose on happy endorphins!

“Makes sense….” I think to myself, even though it doesn’t.

At least I know now what triggered my unusual grooviness. I collect my thoughts and realize…I forgot to get my pad thai! Great – happy endorphins are done for. My stomach grumbles as I realize that my lunch break is over. At least I got a workout in!

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