HELP
Last minute cramming
Eats away at my conscience
Relieve me quickly
Mother
She is Betty Crocker but a hundred times better
She is Colombo the Detective investigating wrong doing
She is the number 1 fan
She is a hug
She is a mentor for life
She is the dictionary, library and the encyclopedia
She is a green 4 Runner
She is the foundation of my family
She is my best friend
She is my mother
How to Laugh
Laughing is essential to everyday health. People say that if you laugh every day, you will live longer! So my friends, brothers, sisters, cousins or whoever is reading this piece of genius, I will teach you the secret of living longer. I will teach you how to laugh! First you need a few of your best, closest, funniest friends. You can have one or more with you for this exercise. Now that you have a friend or friends, you can now partake in friendly conversation.
A fun game I like to play is “would you rather.” You can play any games you like! Or we enjoy talking about girls. Girls are the most interesting topic you can talk about. It is absolutely impossible to understand women. Women don’t even understand women. There are even classes that study women because they are such a complex beauty. If you’re a woman, you are probably thinking, “What in the world does this guy know? You don’t know me! I’m a woman!”
Yeah… or you could be a man, nodding your head, agreeing with me because I am totally right. And I am totally right. Think of this situation. You go shopping with your girl, mom or whatever. You enter the store looking for a shirt. Normal people think it’s about a 15-minute job, BUT if you’re with a girl, a 15-minute run could turn out to be a 3-hour shopping spree!
You walk into the entrance and there are cute slippers near the door. She stops, takes a look and stands there for about an hour and a half debating which slipper or shoe to buy. They ALL LOOK THE SAME TO US. Just pick one. For real.
Then we finally leave the shoe area and head on to the shirts, BUT then she sees a cute purse! She stops looks at ALL OF THEM. She then wants to buys one. She asks you what to get? Good lord, we have no idea! Finally after 2 hours of doing nothing, she decides they all look “ugly”. Somehow in that 2 hour period, the attractiveness of the purse lost its appeal.
Then after a long day of trial, we finally head to the shirts. BUT once again, she has to use the bathroom now. So you wait another half an hour because the line is really long! WHAT do you women do in there? Seriously! I always wondered what women do in there. There must be some kind of xbox 360 hook up or something. I don’t know.
So then we FINALLY reach the shirt isle. We look for the shirt she wanted but it’s not there! Wow. That’s all I can say. So then you go home with your wife, or girlfriend or whatever and she’s sad that her shirt that was on sale was not there. She even had a 20% discount coupon for it. Then you laugh at yourself for ever agreeing to shop with a woman.
And I Tried and Tried
And I tried and tried but never succeeded
The time to get up is now
Forget the failure, don’t let it be seeded
Never forget, once forsaken vow.
The time to get up is now
Rebuild my mind, for it has been weak
Never forget, once forsaken vow.
Gone to find that fortune I seek
Rebuild my mind, for it has been weak
Sadness is for the broken hearted
Gone to find that fortune I seek
Pain and sorrow has now departed
Sadness is for the broken hearted
Life goes on, but does not stop
Pain and sorrow has now departed
Leave it behind to wither and rot
Life goes on, but does not stop
Forget the failure, don’t let it be seeded
Leave it behind to wither and rot
And I tried and tried but never succeeded
My List of Demands
I want new rims and tires for my truck.
I want free gas….forever.
I want money.
I want to own my own private island.
I want to pay off all my parents’ debts and bills.
I want a steak for breakfast.
I want ribs for lunch.
I want steak and ribs for dinner.
I want my own ice cream shop by Longs up in Kulamalu.
I want more money.
I want a full ride scholarship to play D-1 Football for a super BAMF football team.
I want to rule the world.
I want a rocket to go to the moon.
I want to write my name on the moon.
I want to carve my face into the moon.
I want life to be easy.
I want no troubles and no dramas.
I want to be happy.
I want to live life the best I can
Then one day look back at it and say to myself,
“Hey, I didn’t need all those things to be happy.”
Open your Eyes
I once met a girl from Taiwan
She had her a very hot mom
I looked at her wrong
She looked like King Kong
Turns out that this girl was a “mon.”
Life, Love, Death
Blood dripped down my arm and it stained my white jersey. Exhaustion overcame our bodies as the fourth quarter dragged down to the very last minute. It was the last game of our season and we wanted this game to be remembered forever. The play was over and we regrouped into our huddle to get the next play. I saw the sweat of my buddies drip off their chin straps and I could hear the heavy breathing of my exhausted brothers. The play clock began its 30 second countdown.
“Okay boys, this is it, this is our last shot to winning this game and we gotta pull through this” encouraged our quarterback, Jerrald Walkingson.
“Mick, we need you to run the same exact play as last time but you gotta go deep on this last play. Mick, you gotta sell that block, then dig, an’ you gotta search for that hail Mary bro.”
“No pressure man, its just the game-winning touchdown,” smiled Jerrald.
I looked at each and every one of my teammates’ eyes, and I could see the full faith they had in my abilities. There was no room for error. This was it. This was the moment I had been training for.
“I got it” I replied in confidence.
“Okay, let’s kick some butt! Ready….”
“BREAK!” we shouted in unison, and we broke out into our proper positions.
The crowd was going crazy. Classmates and parents were all standing up out their seats screaming their heads off. The stadium had filled up and exceeded its maximum capacity. Every soul I knew was here supporting us on this Friday night, our senior night, the very last time I would play this great game of football with these friends I have grown to call my brothers. There was no way we could lose; no way could we let our community down. I reached my proper position and assumed the exact stance I always do. It was like second nature to me and I was in, fully focused on what I needed to do. My heart raced. The sound of the roaring crowd diminished into a faint hum. All I could hear was the thump of my own heartbeat and the slow steady breaths I took; inhale, and then a slow steady exhale. I was ready.
“Down!”
This was the moment I had been training all my life for.
“Set!”
I would not mess up, we would not lose and I would lead us to victory!
“HUT!” hollered Jerrald.
The football was centered perfectly into Jerrald’s hands. Our front offensive line smashed violently against the powerful defense. The loud “pops” of helmets crashing and the sound of angry grunting filled the football field. Jerrald took his proper drop back steps as I exploded off the line. I whacked and shoved the linebacker that was in my way, stalling me a perfect second. He fell for the fake block, and I sprinted out to my route as fast as I could, leaving the stunned linebacker in bewilderment. The safety saw my intentions and started to pursue after me. I ran as hard as I could, pumping my arms and gliding through the cool Astroturf at top speed. The safety had a decent coverage on me, but I still could catch the ball. All I had to do was locate it and grab it before he did. Jerald launched the football with a perfect spiral. It whistled through the air, cutting through the night sky. I looked up and saw the football. It came at me at an almost perfect arch. I put my hands up so that the football may land safely into them. Excitement filled my whole being as I reached to grab our last chance of winning. “YES! YES WE ARE GOING TO WIN!” my victory voice popped into my head, but as quickly as it came, it also quickly evaded my thoughts.
As I watched in horror, the opposing team’s safety leaped up in front of me, snatching our hopes and dreams right before my eyes. The safety fell down with my football and leaped up from the ground in joy. They won. We lost. Just like that, everything we worked for, everything we ever hoped to achieve had been stolen from us in a few short seconds. I fell to my knees and stared at the turf in non belief. Tears carved my face like rivers of ancient times. How could I let this happen? How could I let down my whole community? Failure loomed over my conscious. I looked up at my brothers, and they too were crying. Everybody got together and gave each other a manly embrace. In the midst of painful defeat, our teammates, our family got together and gave a cheer and positive comments.
“We played hard, boy’s!”
“Hell yeah we did!”
We still had each other. The dream of the chance of a state title vanished yet something else forever lives on. We will never forget our senior year of high school.
This is a poem that….
This is a poem that thrives,
In the dark depths of your subconscious,
That all inner self doubt lingers and loiters, eating your dreams alive
Because they don’t want you to succeed
Because they say you’re too small, too short, too slow, too weak, fragile, afraid, shy, and unfit for the challenge at hand.
And when you stab this evil voice in your soul to kill all self doubt,
You feel the rush of victory, the adrenaline of success, the inner self peace knowing you did not give up on yourself.
This is a poem that thrives, that inspires, that guides your pen to writing, creating a fulfilled life.
This poem lives in everybody’s dreams; it lives among us waiting to be written.
It lives and waits to be hammered, to reborn the cloud in your head, onto this graveyard for the broken, for the lost desires.
My Favorite Place
The bathroom is my favorite place to be.
Here I can see the toilet paper, rolled tight as a true promise,
The latrine, that stands grounded as the truth,
And the shower that pours like a monsoon.
I can hear the sigh of relief, and the whirling water drain into an unknown abyss.
I can feel stress leave my conscience,
While I ponder and reflect upon my life.
I see, I hear, I feel and even smell the negative vibes leave my body and the cleansing of my soul.
The bathroom is my favorite place to be.
Apology Poem
I’m sorry
For copying
Your homework
Today
And then
Forgetting
To give it
Back to you
I hope
That you
Don’t lose
Too many points
But at least
I got
A really
Good grade.
My Date with Defiance
Why am I doing this? I sit here day by day, each and every day. I wonder and dream what other things I could be doing instead. As I stare at the blank white board, an elf popped out of the cabinets! He laughs and I look at him in astonishment! What the heck? Can nobody else see him? I look at my classmates around the room and they are engulfed by the teacher’s blabbering. Nobody seems to notice this mystical wonder! The elf laughs at me and starts making funny faces. Haha. I thought it was pretty funny so I mimicked every face that the elf made. Then in an instant, the room spins uncontrollably and I collapsed. I hit my head on my desk, or at least I thought it was my desk. As the world came back into focus, I was not in school anymore.
“Tee Hee! You a can’t catch me!” chuckled the little elf and he darted towards an opening. Dang it!! Why do these crazy things have to happen to me? I crawled towards the light in hopes of finding my school again. As I crawled close to the light, I noticed that everything was not as it seemed. The sun shone really bright, but it was not hot. In fact, it was very cold. I thought this was very strange.
“Tee Hee! You cant catch me!” chuckled that crazy elf. Dang it!! I better go catch him. Maybe he can help me get back home. I started to sprint, but I moved very slowly. The harder I ran, the slower I would move and it felt like me feet were barley touching the ground! “Dang it!” I screamed in frustration. Where the heck am I? The crazy elf came by and called me “Peter”. “How do you know my name?” I said. “You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hamer and forge yourself one,” said this mystical elf. Then suddenly a loud bang echoed throughout the realm I was trapped in. I looked up and the sky began to crumble. Dang it! What the duce? Suddenly I was sucked up and everything began to spin again. Soon I was back in my class room sitting at my desk. “PETER! Pay attention!!” the teacher yelled at me. Dang it! It was just a dream! Haha. Although I was very glad to be back at school, I wished I could have caught that elf. Later that day after class, Ms. Wahta came up and told me, “You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself on,” a quote from Henry David Thoreau. Total déjà vu. I guess I have to try and stay awake in class so that I can become a prosperous adult.
The Piece of Paper Is Clean and White
The piece of paper is clean and white
No marks, no scratches, just smooth clear white
This paper reminds me of myself.
What to do? What to say?
I don’t know how but whichever way,
I can do whatever I want, all I need is a little thought.
Hmm I can fold it and make a plane,
I can rip it, crease it, and make a crane.
This piece of paper is just like my brain!
With a little thought and some of “this”
Throw in a plot, and some of “that”
My words are real, my words are fact.
Make up a name and a really good story.
Throw in a man who seeks love and glory.
Maybe a goblin blinded by pride?
Or a treacherous person that steals and lies?
This blank piece of paper is how I write
I don’t really think, I just put what I like.
And soon it starts to look like a piece or work.
Then this paper has some meaning.
Just like me.
Writing Philosophy
Everybody needs to know how to write because every job requires some type or writing whether it be creating a resume or typing out a full research paper for your boss.
