Students, one of your classmates has offered her rhetorical analysis submission for a lesson on paraphrasing and quoting properly. She chose to respond to Elias’ comment. Before we talk about the submissions, look first at Elias’ original post (it’s an excerpt), then look at your classmate’s first and second submission (these are excerpts as well.)
ELIAS’:
I agree with what Carly has to say on this, specifically on how it is frightening to realize how much cancerous chemicals humans, especially Americans, lather onto their bodies on a daily basis. Equally if not more so frightening for me however, is the fact that there are no laws or regulations in place that ensure that a cosmetic bottle that says “all natural” or “pure organic”, is legitimately “all natural” or “pure organic”. Therefore, by trusting in labels such as these consumers are at a high risk of applying these dangerous chemicals on their skin all the while thinking that they are doing their bodies’ a favor. In the “Democracy Now” debate it was even said that there are a number of corporate monster cosmetic companies today that follow this abhorrent practice of putting false labels on their products, all the while swimming in the seas of profit that come from their ill-gotten gains. The fact that this atrocity is going on today in The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave serves as a startling snapshot of where our country is at today. America is losing its integrity.
FIRST SUBMISSION:
In Elias’ post, he introduces his readers to the frightening facts about how humans use cancerous chemicals on their bodies on a daily basis. He links the abhorrent practice of putting false labels on cosmetic products to America’s progressive loss of integrity. As Elias’ post flows, it links America’s integrity issues together with the cosmetic products thus conveying the corruption of cosmetic companies and the corporate monsters.
SECOND SUBMISSION:
In Elias’ post, he introduces his readers to the frightening facts about how humans use cancerous chemicals on their bodies on a daily basis. According to Elias, “In the “Democracy Now” debate it was even said that there are a number of corporate monster cosmetic companies today that follow this abhorrent practice of putting false labels on their products, all the while swimming in the seas of profit that come from their ill-gotten gains.” He links the abhorrent practice of putting false labels on cosmetic products to America’s progressive loss of integrity. As Elias’ post flows, it links America’s integrity issues together with the cosmetic products thus conveying the corruption of cosmetic companies and the corporate monsters.