PERFORMANCE TASK
Students will compose a research essay to support claims using valid reasoning and sufficient evidence with explanation while maintaining a formal style and tone appropriate to audience and purpose.
ANNOTATION
Ideas and Content (Clarity)
Writer states main idea in introduction: “The Hawaiian language is very important to our culture. It holds the knowledge of our ancestors and the history of our people. Language is how we discover our ancestral roots and acquire our identity…” Main idea is carried out through body paragraphs (topic sentences: “Hawaiian language is an important part of the culture to our people and was spoken by all until the arrival of missionaries and overthrow…; “…because ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi was banned, many of the future Hawaii generations have suffered…” Ideas and Content (Clarity) falls under “advanced” for use of clear thesis and topic sentences.
Ideas and Content (Synthesis)
Writer cites credible sources as evidence to topic sentences; uses introductory phrases/in-text parenthetical citations, and works cited page (i.e. ʻHawaiian language courses have dropped more than 40 percent since the 1977-78 school year, educators say’ (Hawaiians Fear Loss of the Native Language). Writer restates and agrees with credible sources; further analysis of sources could have yielded original thought (in order to move from “proficient” to “advanced”).
Organization
Writer applies explicit transition words, phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph (To begin, Next, Consequently, Lastly). Student develops argument historically (foundation of language for culture, banning, revitalization with Article X).
Writer could have embedded transitions as opposed to using standard transitional words to move from “proficient” to “advanced”.
Audience and Purpose
Writer demonstrates an appropriate voice and tone with the integration of Hawaiian perspective and facts while clearly explaining the need for language revitalization. Student closes by indicating personal commitment to issue as a keiki kaiapuni. Writer could have embedded voice/tone in explanations (as opposed to restatements) of body paragraphs to move from “proficient” to “advanced”.
Conventions
Writer demonstrates a clear understanding of the rules of grammar, capitalization and spelling. However, this assignment scores proficient since the student applies MLA format that needs minor revisions, hanging indent in the works cited page, and punctuations to move from “proficient” to “advanced”.